I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
