on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize