Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
