Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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