Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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