Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize