Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
