At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
