This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize