You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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