im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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