Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
