I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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