i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
