he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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