theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
