I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
