I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
