my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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