She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
