Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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