Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize