1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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