I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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