There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
