For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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