It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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