I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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