I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
