Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
