Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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