At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize