If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
