Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize