You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am naked and annoyed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
