Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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