onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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