Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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