conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize