Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize