I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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