I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
