May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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