foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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