I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
