the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We don't watch enough power rangers
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
