That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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