Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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