The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
