how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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