Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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