She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
