wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
