you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
