"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
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Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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