ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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