i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
