that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
