how can u be prego again
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
