Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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