Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
